NerdSmurf

serves 2

Ingredients

• 1 cup vanilla ice cream, softened
• 1 cup orange sherbet, softened
• 3/4 cup milk
• 3/4 cup orange juice
• 2 orange slices for garnish, optional


Procedure

Add all ingredients to blender and mix until thoroughly combined.

Pour into serving glasses and garnish with orange slices.

makes 3 dozen cookes

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup chopped raisins
• 1/4 cup bourbon
• 2 cups chocolate wafer crumbs
• 1/2 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar
• 3/4 cup finely chopped pecans
• 1/4 cup unsulfured molasses
• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves

Procedure

In a small bowl, let 1/2 cup chopped raisins macerate in 1/4 cup bourbon for 15 minutes. In a large bowl, combine well 2 cups chocolate wafer crumbs,1/2 cup each of firmly packed dark brown sugar and finely chopped pecans, the raisin mixture, 1/4 cup unsulfured molasses, 1/2 teaspoon each of cinnamon and ground ginger, and 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves. Form the mixture into 1-inch balls and roll the balls in finely chopped pecans. Store the bourbon balls in an airtight container in a cool dark place for at least 1 week before serving.

serves 70 to 80 cookies

Ingredients

• 1 stick (8 tablespoons) butter, softened, plus more for greasing
• 2/3 cup sugar
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1/4 cup highest-quality natural cocoa powder, such as Valrhona
• 2 tablespoons aji panca chile, seeds removed and freshly ground, plus a little more for garnish
• 1 small dried chipotle chile, seeds removed and freshly ground
• 3/4 cup all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting
• 1 large egg
• 12-14 ounces dark chocolate (about 60 percent cacao), finely chopped
• Coarse salt, for garnish

Procedure

In a stand mixer, beat the butter, sugar, and salt together till light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Scrape down the sides with a spatula as needed. Turn down the speed on the mixer to low and add the cocoa and chiles, followed by the flour. Increase the speed when the dough looks crumbly and add the egg. Scrape down the sides again and mix till thoroughly combined.

Heavily dust a work surface with flour, then turn the dough out. Divide it into two even pieces and roll them into 1-inch diameter logs. You’ll need to add flour from your work surface to keep the soft dough from sticking. Wrap each log in plastic wrap and chill in the freezer for one hour, or until stiff but not frozen solid. You can keep the cookies frozen this way for several months, slicing off and baking as needed. For long-term storage, wrap the dough in additional plastic and some aluminum foil.

15 minutes before you plan to bake them, turn your oven to 350°F and grease two half sheet pans. With a very sharp knife, slice the cookies into 1/8th-inch thin rounds and lay them on the sheet pans, leaving a 1/2-inch space between cookies. Chill in the refrigerator for two minutes before transferring to the oven. Bake 7-8 minutes for chewy cookies, or 11-12 minutes for crispy ones. Transfer to cooling rack and cool completely.

Put an inch of water in a saucepan and bring it to a bowl with a large glass or ceramic bowl on top. When the water boils, reduce to a simmer and add the chocolate to bowl. Whisk constantly until chocolate is melted, making sure that it stays below 91°F (if it goes above that, here’s instructions on how to re-temper chocolate).

Line your two half sheet pans with parchment and drop cookies into chocolate 4 to 5 at a time. Stir with a fork until evenly coated, then remove them and slide them off your fork with another fork onto the parchment. Scrape down the sides of your bowl with a spatula to use all the chocolate.

Sprinkle cookies with extra ground chile and coarse salt while they’re cooling, then set aside to cool completely. Store in a large, airtight container in a cool, dry place.

Ingredients

• 5 ounces high quality dark chocolate (at least 72 percent cacao), finely chopped
• 10 tablespoons (1 stick plus 2 tablespoons) butter, plus extra for greasing
• 2 tablespoons guajillo or aleppo chile, freshly ground
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1 3/4 cups sugar
• 3 eggs
• 1 cup flour

Procedure

Adjust oven rack to middle position and preheat oven to 350°F. In a small saucepan over low heat (or in a bowl over a pot of boiling water), melt the chocolate and butter with the chile, cinnamon, and salt, stirring occasionally. Set aside to cool.

Line a 9” x 9” metal baking pan with parchment paper or aluminum foil. Use enough to create a lip over the sides of the pan. If using foil, lightly grease with butter.

In a mixing bowl, combine the melted chocolate mixture with the sugar. When combined, add the eggs. Mix till smooth, then fold in the flour. Transfer to the baking pan. Bake until the brownies feel firm and a paring knife poked into the center comes out clean (you still want a few crumbs to stick), about 30 minutes.

Using the parchment or foil lip, remove the brownies from the pan and cool completely. To greatly improve the texture and flavor, wrap the brownie slab in plastic and let it sit for several hours or up to overnight at room temperature. Slice into 9 large, 16 medium, or 25 small squares, and serve.

Special equipment: Wide-mouth jars with lids (either baby food, or 8-ounce or pint-sized Mason jars)

serves 8 to 24, depending on jar size

Ingredients

• 2/3 cup butter, at room temperature
• 1 1/4 cups granulated sugar
• 1 1/4 cups brown sugar, packed
• 4 eggs
• 2 cups fresh or canned pumpkin
• 2/3 cup water
• 3 cups flour
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
• 1 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon allspice
• 1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

Procedure

Cream the butter in stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment at medium speed until fluffy, then add the sugars slowly, continuing to mix until creamy and smooth. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Beat in the pumpkin and water.

In a large bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, and spices. Add to the pumpkin mixture, stirring until fully incorporated. Add nuts, if desired.

Preheat oven to 325°F. Pour batter into well buttered or greased jars. Fill each jar slightly more than halfway full. (Keep the lids and rings off to the side though). Bake for about 30 minutes if you’re using baby food jars, 40-45 minutes for pint-sized jars.

Remove from oven and let cool completely. Place a circle of waxed paper on top of the cake to protect it from sticking to the top of the jar, and put the lids on the jars.

To serve, open jars, and slide a knife around the inside of the jar to loosen the cake. You can remove the cakes from the jars or eat it straight from the jar, but rest assured that they’re far tastier when topped with frosting or freshly whipped cream directly before serving.

serves 8

Ingredients

16 ounces cream cheese (two 8-ounce packages)
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 1/2 cups light brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup sugar
1/3 cup water
2 tablespoons corn syrup
1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon coarse sea salt

Procedure

Add cream cheese, heavy cream, light brown sugar and vanilla to a large bowl. Mix ingredients with hand mixer on medium speed for 5 minutes or until light and fluffy.

In a medium saucepan, heat the sugar, water, corn syrup and 1/2 teaspoon lemon juice over medium high heat until it starts bubbling (around 4 to 5 minutes). Stir caramel and continue to cook, watching carefully, until it turns golden brown and then a light amber, another 2 to 3 minutes. Remove from heat.

Carefully add 3/4 of caramel to cream cheese mixture. Pour remaining caramel onto silpat or greased parchment paper-lined baking sheet and sprinkle with 1/4 teaspoon sea salt. Let caramel harden.

Pour that 1/4 leftover bit of the caramel on your Silpat or oiled parchment covered surface and sprinkle with 1/4 teaspoon sea salt. Let the caramel harden while you do not touch it.

Beat caramel and cream cheese mixture with hand mixer on low speed to mix the caramel into the cream cheese. As it cools tiny caramel bits will distribute through the dip. Transfer to dipping bowl.

Peel hardened caramel off Silpat or parchment paper. Place the caramel shards artfully on top of the dip — sprinkle with remaining 1/4 teaspoon sea salt. Serve immediately with apple slices tossed with lemon juice to prevent browning.

Ingredients

• Hot dog bun, toasted
• 1 tablespoon smooth peanut butter
• 1 tablespoon jelly (I used raspberry)
• 2 scoops ice cream (I used vanilla)

Procedure

Split hot dog bun, but do not break in half. Toast face down on a grill or in a toaster oven, until it is lightly browned.

Spread the peanut butter on one side of the toasted bun, the jam on the other side.

Place 2 scoops of ice cream in the center of the bun (they will spread to the ends as you squeeze the bun together as you eat).

Repeat these steps to create as many Chilly Dogs as you’d like. Serve immediately.

I plan on making these for my mommy. She doesn’t get to really enjoy any sweets since she is a vegan AND lactose-intolerant.

makes about 12 donuts

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 pounds of sweet potatoes (about 3 medium-large)
• 1 1/2 cups of flour
• 2 tablespoons of mahlab, less if very fresh
• 1 teaspoon of cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon of freshly ground nutmeg
• 2 teaspoons of baking powder
• 1 or 2 heavy pinches of salt
• 1 1/2 quarts of neutral-flavored oil, for deep frying
• 1 cup of powdered sugar
• 3 tablespoons of water

For the glaze:

Procedure

Boil the sweet potatoes with their skins on until a paring knife pierced through the center offers no resistance. Set them aside to cool a bit.

Mix the remaining doughnut ingredients in a large bowl. Prep a work surface with some flour to dust the counter.

When the sweet potatoes are just cool enough to handle, peel off the skins by wrapping them in a paper towel and rubbing them between your hands.

Purée the peeled sweet potatoes with a ricer, masher, or grater. Make sure to get rid of large chunks. Sweet potatoes can take a lot more mashing than their white cousins, but don’t work them any more than you have to.

Stir the puréed sweet potato into the flour. Mix with your hands till just combined, then turn it out onto your work surface. Dust some more flour over the top and fold the dough over on itself a few times till you get a relatively flat circle. Roll or flatten it out to about 3/4-inch thickness. Dough should be moist, but not stick readily to floured hands.

Cut doughnut shapes out of the dough. For the large circles, I use that I got for a dollar a piece at an Indian grocery. (They double as great prep bowls.) Biscuit cutters are probably best, but use whatever you have on hand. For the holes, I use an apple corer. Set the doughnut shapes aside for a few minutes so the exteriors harden a bit. This produces a crispier crust.

Heat the oil in a deep fryer, Dutch oven, or wok (which uses the least oil) on medium-high heat. When the oil shimmers, pull off a small knob of dough as a test and drop it in. It should bubble immediately, but not violently, and brown after a few minutes.

Fry the doughnuts three at a time, turning occasionally, for three to five minutes, letting them get a darker-than-golden crust. For novice fryers, note that they’ll continue to darken as they cool. Let them drain onto a few folds of paper towel on a cookie sheet.

While the second batch is frying, whisk water into the powdered sugar a tablespoon at a time until a thick but spoonable paste forms. Transfer the glaze to a pie plate or frying pan. Dip the drained doughnuts in each side for a few seconds, then set aside to drain on a cooling rack. Continue glazing each cooled batch while frying the next.

The glaze will set as the doughnuts cool. They’re best served above room temperature, but not hot, so the spices have some time to make their presence known.

For the doughnuts:

Ingredients

• 6 to 8 slices leftover birthday cake, chilled in the refrigerator overnight
• 4 eggs
• 1/2 cup milk or light cream
• 3 tablespoons sugar
• Dash of cinnamon or other spices, to taste
• 2 to 4 tablespoons butter, for frying
• Confectioners’ sugar glaze or sprinkles, to garnish

Procedure

In a large bowl, whisk the eggs, milk or cream, sugar, and any spices you’d like to add, until the mixture is fully combined and lightly frothy on the edges.

Remove your cake from the refrigerator. It will work if you haven’t chilled your cake too, but chilling it overnight keeps the frosting from melting all over when you pan fry the cake. Slice the cake into thick slices.

Put 2 to 4 tablespoons of butter into your frying pan. Heat the burner to medium-high, and let the butter melt. Once it is lightly bubbling, you’re ready to start frying your cake slices.

Dip each cake slice in your egg mixture, coating it fully on both sides (go ahead and submerge each slice). Place the dipped slice directly in the frying pan; depending on the size of your pan, add 2 or 3 slices at one time.

Let each slice fry for a minute or so, until it is lightly coming up on the sides (you can lift a side gently with a spatula to see if it is browning). Turn over and repeat on the opposite side, being sure to turn gently so that you don’t let the frosting smear across the pan.

Remove from the pan and transfer to a serving platter or directly to plates. Repeat with the remaining slices until you’ve finished them all. If desired, top with a confectioners’ sugar glaze and sprinkles. Serve immediately.

*Ice cream maker needed.

Makes about a quart

Ingredients

• 3 cups half-and-half (or 1 1/2 cups each of whole milk and heavy cream)
• 1 cinnamon stick (about 3 inches)
• 5 black cardamom pods, crushed
• 2 small pieces of star anise
• 1 tablespoon whole coffee beans or 1 teaspoon coffee grinds
• 5 ounces (about 3/4 cup) bittersweet chocolate, coarsely chopped
• 6 egg yolks
• 1 cup turbinado (raw) sugar
• 1/4 cup honey
• 8 tablespoons (about 3 shots) good tequila

Procedure

In a large, heavy bottomed pot heat the half-and-half over a low/medium flame with the spices (cinnamon, black cardamom, star anise and coffee) until infused with flavor, about 30 to 40 minutes.

In another pot, mix the turbinado sugar, 2 tablespoons of tequila and a little water (about 1/4 cup) and cook over medium heat to caramelize the sugar, about 7 to 8 minutes.

While the caramel sauce is still warm, pour it (carefully) into the pot with the half-and-half and spices. It may bubble and foam, so pour slowly and steadily, and stir as you pour.

Pour the honey into the same pot you used to caramelize the sugar, and cook over a low flame until that begins to caramelize as well, about 5 minutes. Mix it into the pot with the half-and-half.

In a mixing bowl, whisk the egg yolks until the color lightens, about 4 to 5 minutes of continuous whisking.

Temper the eggs into the pot. Note: This process is actually fairly easy, it just takes a little patience. To temper eggs, you need to warm them up before pouring them into the hot half-and-half; if you pour the cold yolks directly into the pot, they’ll curdle and you’ll wind up with scrambled eggs floating in your ice cream base. Start by scooping a few ladlefuls of hot half-and-half into your eggs, and mix well to incorporate. When the outside of the mixing bowl is warm to the touch, you’ll know the eggs are ready. Pour them slowly and carefully back into the pot, using a rubber spatula to scrape out the bowl. Mix to make sure all the yolks are dissolved into the half-and-half.

Continue to cook the ice cream base over low/medium heat, stirring occasionally, until the mixture thickens and coats the back of a spoon, about 8 to 10 minutes. If you have a thermometer handy, the mixture should heat up to 160°F to ensure that the eggs have been cooked thoroughly.

Put the chocolate in a mixing bowl, and pour the hot ice cream base through a mesh strainer into the bowl and over the chocolate. The heat from the liquid will melt the chocolate, so stir it around to make sure it gets mixed and melted evenly. If you have an immersion blender, use it. If not, simple mixing with a wooden spoon or spatula will do the trick.

Once the chocolate has been fully melted, pour about 6 tablespoons of tequila into the bowl. This is pushing the upper limit of the amount of alcohol an ice cream can contain and still be able to freeze—if you’re not into the taste of tequila, only use 3 tablespoon or choose another alcohol that you like better. If you want an ice cream that’s really boozy, put 8 (or more) but remember that your final product will melt faster with more alcohol.

Chill the base in the fridge overnight. Letting the ice cream base age overnight allows the fats to crystallize and proteins to hydrate—in English, it makes the texture incomparably smooth when you spin it in your machine the next morning. If you can’t wait overnight, leave the base in the fridge until cool, about 4 hours.

Spin the base in your ice cream machine, then store in the freezer for another hour or two—or just eat it right away! Garnish with a little sea salt, or smoked salt if you want to be really classy, for an incredible sweet-savory combination.